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Wednesday, June 27, 2007
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| .hesaid/shesaid: casanova vs. lucille ball |
hesaid: alex
Brenda and I have a great relationship, but we're not in sync during sex. I like to be passionate and romantic, but she sees sex as a time for goofing around. That's fine once in a while, but I think it's hard for her to take me seriously. We start to make love and then she'll laugh, tickling me or saying things that take me out of the moment. We'll go on to have sex, but it feels like it's only on her terms. She says I'm too sensitive and sex is sex, but that's not true. It makes me wonder if she feels as strongly about our relationship as I do.
shesaid: brenda
Alex is old fashioned about sex. He wants things super serious all the time. To me, sex is a basic requirement. I've certainly never held back because the candles weren't lit or the music wasn't right. Sex should be fun, a release. For Alex, romance is required--candles, flowers, music--you name it. I feel like I'm supposed to swoon, to fall into his arms like a damsel in distress. That's just not me. I know Alex is trying to be sweet, but it's hard for me to take it seriously. I don't like having the pressure to perform to a certain standard, so I goof around to lighten things up. I don't see why he can't just laugh and enjoy it too.
expertsaid:
Good sex is about passion, energy, and understanding your partner's desires. Alex and Brenda, you need to compromise by reviving your sexual energy in a way that works for both of you. He needs to give her playful nights of fun, laughter, and sexual release. She needs to be a sincere and enthusiastic participant when he wants an evening of quiet passion. Alex, try less subtle ways of seducing Brenda. Maybe forego some of the planning and just rip her clothes off once in a while. Brenda, you need to discover your romantic side with Alex. Just like some people need to drive the car so they don't get car sick, maybe you feel the need to control sex so you can be more comfortable in bed. You both need to work together to fulfill your partner's needs without sacrificing you own.
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